"There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary [1], and those who don't."
"Programming [2] today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
"A couple, two software engineers, just had a baby. The husband asked his wife, is it 'boy' || 'girl'? To which his wife replied, true"
"I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code [3]."
"My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."
"Passwords [4] are like underwear. You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them. You should change them regularly. And you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers."
"You know it’s love when you memorize her IP number to skip DNS overhead."
"Hacking [5] is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn’t leave something that can be traced back to you."
"No, we don’t solve math problems during our free time… we make them!"
"I don’t love numbers… but they love me."
"Concept: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape button."
"A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila."
"There is no place like 127.0.0.1 [6]."
"If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization." - One of Murphy's Laws of Technology